“But expression is more than just mouthing the words. It is the exchange of what matters between living things.” Mark Nepo

The other day, I was speaking to someone who had a few colds over winter that had developed into laryngitis. After she lost her voice again, she sheepishly admitted to me that she had decided to refer to her Louise Hay book “You Can Heal Your Life”. Looking up laryngitis she found under probable cause “So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority.”

I asked her if this felt true to her. Her answer was ‘Oh, definitely. I can see how that is true for me, particularly at work.’ I remembered similar stories from people I have known, especially as a stress consultant. Not just people who found they were regularly losing their voices but others who felt reluctant to speak up or to express their feelings in certain situations.

I realised that this was an important component of something I had been thinking about and researching. Coincidence? Well, more an example of “what you focus on expands” but it certainly got my attention.

I had been researching the idea of finding your voice. More specifically about finding your authentic voice, the voice that truly reflects who you are, beyond the petty needs and worries of your small self/ego.

For the person I was speaking to, it was more about having a voice but the connection was clear and added a new dimension. After all, to have a voice, first you need to find it. On reflection, I remembered situations where I felt unable to speak up. So, I am interested in the reasons so many people find themselves in situations where they do not or cannot express what they are feeling or thinking. This is important to understand because it creates stress inside you.

However, finding your authentic voice is not just about being able to speak. There are plenty of people who have no trouble speaking out but I do not believe that they are always speaking with their true voice. There have been times for me, and I know for others, when what I have said or how I have said it does not reflect who I truly am or what really matters to me. What does this mean? Finding and speaking with your authentic voice is about connecting, about expressing who you truly are and what really matters to you.

Without that, you experience disappointment and discomfort as well as stress. In the end, speaking with a true voice, “exchanging what matters”, impacts on all of our relationships.

I intend to expand on this further but right now, I would like to invite you to notice when you are speaking with your true voice and when you are not, and how that feels. Please add a comment or email me with any thoughts you would like to share.