“You can’t see what you can’t see. We all have filters and assumptions that limit our capacity to perceive the whole truth.” John Gruber

John Gruber is a talented and deeply committed teacher. He made this comment in the context of exploring the idea of attention, of where we place our attention and how that impacts on our lives. The thing is, most of the time, we are not actively seeking to see the whole truth. Even if we are aware, in the moment, that we are filtering a particular situation, to see clearly is still difficult to do, especially in the matter of seconds in which we feel we have to react. So, when caught up in a situation or interaction, most of the time, it just doesn’t occur to us – until later. We tend to work on the assumption that what we perceive – see and experience – is the truth of what is going on “out there”.

The unique way our brains filter the world is created from a combination of tendencies we are born with and experiences throughout our lives, especially from our childhood. We continue to reinforce this filtering on a daily basis. So the challenge is not only to recognise in the moment (or even later) that we are doing this but also to open up our filters and let go of our assumptions. Waking up to this way of seeing the world takes lots of practice and, under stress it is particularly difficult to stay awake to our own filters and assumptions, and to see all the different perspectives.

Now, I’m pretty sure that most of you already have an understanding of this. However, a recent experience reinforced for me how easily this filtering mechanism can limit us in our life without us realising it (even in small ways), so I thought I would share it with you.

A trusted friend and colleague sent me an email in response to my last blog “What does your true voice sound like?” She surprised me when she finished off with “I’m not sure you’re finished with this train of thought? I feel something else coming from it.”

My immediate thought was “Oh? Really?” When I had finished the blog, I didn’t have any thoughts of following up or adding more on the subject. I have to say that, at times, I do see a future direction for my blogs and will write a follow up – but not this time.

I was intrigued and I trusted my friend’s judgement so I went back to read the blog again and drew a mind map with these central questions. What more can I offer? Where else could this lead?

I had identified six possibilities to explore when I became distracted by the realisation that maybe there was a learning for me in this. Without realising it, I had placed a limit on myself and my work. This limit was a result of my own filtering mechanisms and my level of awareness at the time. My attention was on analysing and bringing together the feedback, seeing how that fitted with my own thoughts and other research, then pulling it all together into something that was coherent and useful, and finally getting the blog posted.

Until my attention was drawn to it, I could not see these further possibilities. I had limited the opportunities that were available and consequently what I could offer. Over time, I have come to understand myself fairly well and I recognise that I have a personal orientation to “tick it off and move on” when it comes to getting things done. If I am not awake, I filter only for the outcome, the best result. Like all traits, there are positive aspects (I get things done), as well as negative ones (when caught in it, I am thinking more linearly, not so open to the possibilities and I’m limiting myself).

We all have a unique way of filtering our world and this impacts on our way of functioning in the world. It is important to wake up to and understand our own way of perceiving, acting and reacting.

There are lots of situations in everybody’s life. Some are more significant than others. As a simple example, at work, someone may perceive that their boss is not communicating well and this causes some angst for them. There is nearly always some truth in what you do see. However, because of the way that they are filtering, this is where their attention is focused and it means that they simply don’t see other factors – “you can’t see what you can’t see”. Until they wake up and do the work to see more clearly, they are limiting themselves and their capacity to improve this and other similar situations.

This experience has reminded me to be more awake and aware, and my writing is a good place to begin again. In what ways do you shut down possibilities and limit opportunities in your life – maybe without realising it at the time?

As a postscript to this, another trusted and wise friend sent me an email. We had been working back and forth on a particular challenge and she had sent an email to thank me but then she added – “It actually is an extension on your true voice, maybe a true ear (hearing things clearly) ……… Maybe follow up blogs for you?”

I knew straight away where I needed to go with it, and I’ll bring that to you next time.

Isn’t the Universe wonderful? I was being reminded again, that I also need others to help me see more clearly. How about you?