The way he treats his body, you’d think he was renting. ~Robert Brault

When I wrote my last blog, I asked the question “Are you caring for yourself?” This is at the core of my work with the most valuable of our relationships, the relationship we have with our self. I wrote about two important aspects, one is “caring for” which includes your feelings and attitude towards yourself and the other is “taking care of” which is about your choices and actions.

I would like to delve a little deeper into our relationship with our body. Caring for our body is my focus this time.

The “caring for” I am referring to, is the desire to connect with and nurture. It is the capacity to have sensitivity to emotions and feelings, and includes acceptance, understanding, appreciation and communion. Some naturally express this in all of their relationships more than others do.

The “taking care of” is a different movement inside of us, involving more head than heart. It is about making choices, taking action, moving forward and strengthening. Without realising it, it is this capacity that many of us focus on. However, both need to be expressed in a healthy and balanced way for any relationship (including the one with our body) to be successful and sustainable.

While others may offer support, in the end, your body is your responsibility

It is like your child. You can take care of a child perfectly, giving shelter, food, clothing etc. However, without kindness, love and nurturing the child may survive but not truly thrive.

I have found that the relationship we have with our body is different for everyone, and is often complicated. Our body, our mind and our sense of self and spirit are not separate parts but rather exist as an interconnected whole. This means that when we start caring for our body, it inevitably engages and affects our thinking and emotions.

There is so much we could explore about this subject. However, for the moment, I am going to provide a few points for you to consider.

Like any relationship, you begin where you are right now by getting to know and understand your body fully.

In our culture, it is common to spend a lot of time in our heads either through work or habit. While we are in our head thinking, planning, analysing, imagining and worrying we are disconnected from what is going on in the rest of our body. When you are in your head, you are either stuck in the past or occupied with the future. However, when you fully inhabit the whole of your body, you discover it is the access point to the present moment.

The next step in the relationship is to bring honesty, acceptance, appreciation and good communication.

Honesty means shining a light on all of our beliefs, needs and choices regarding our body. Notice what you say to yourself. This is important because sometimes we find we are resentful, ashamed of, frustrated or disappointed with our body or aspects of our body. This comes from looking at our body from the outside in and viewing it as separate from our self.

Acceptance is as much about feeling as it is about thinking. Being able to say to your self and deeply believe – “this body is mine and it is always good enough”.

Appreciation of the work our body does every day and its incredible complexity and miraculous nature is not something we tend to do and yet appreciating improves every relationship. Our body has the natural capacity to grow, defend, repair, adapt and sustain itself (sustain us). However, if you want the best performance, you have to create the best environment, inside and outside your body.

Good communication helps with that. It is about being in tune with and listening to what our bodies can tell us. It is about giving and receiving love, kindness and respect as an inner experience. Our bodies do follow the law of cause and affect but if you want something from your body, whether it is to get fit, lose weight, increase muscle bulk, recover from an illness or repair after an injury, you have to enlist your body. Research shows that connecting with, listening to and caring for your body makes a difference. Do not be surprised if you have mixed success when you ignore what your body is telling you or your internal dialogue includes discouraging or disempowering thoughts.

What I find is that most people know this stuff. We have a sense of it already, but we need to be reminded. When we pay attention to and care for our bodies often enough, it becomes part of our operating system. This makes a difference to our choices and actions.

I now come back to the quote at the beginning. This is the point about your life. You have to do it through this body of yours. You have to live, experience your life and express your self through this body. This is your true home. This is where you live.

Be strong then, and enter into your own body;    
there you have a solid place for your feet.  
Think about it carefully!   
Don’t go off somewhere else!     
…just throw away all thoughts of    
imaginary things,    
and stand firm in that which you are.  Kabir